Cemetery Strolls

At least two times a week I use my lunch break to stroll through the cemetery near where I work. There is rarely anyone there who is living, so it is quiet and no one bothers me. It’s also interesting. My trips may have been prompted by my view. From my office I have a perfect view of the funeral home across the street and can watch as the hearses drive in and out. It’s not just that though, because I’ve always liked cemeteries. I try to visit cemeteries in all the places I visit. There are some wonderful old cemeteries on the east coast I would love to spend more time exploring. When my kids were little, we lived near a beautiful old cemetery in North Idaho. My children learned to ride their bikes there—the paths were well-maintained, and there wasn’t a lot of traffic.

My daughter just moved into a new apartment and one of the first things she told me was that it was around the corner from a cemetery. Since she already knows how to ride a bike, she might not visit it often, but I sure am looking forward to exploring. One of my favorite things about cemeteries, besides the fact there are plenty of places to sit, is that they usually have nice landscaping that includes big trees. There is something comforting about having the canopy of an old, wizened tree overhead when you are among death and mourning.

I prefer to visit cemeteries separate from any funeral services. I am personally not a fan of the cemetery portion of a funeral—the experience is nothing like what is often romanticized in film. There is no sweeping orchestral music as the wind gently lifts the hair of the mourners. Everyone is not dressed in perfectly pressed black suits and dresses, the women with lace veils over their faces and handkerchiefs in hand.

If the funeral takes place in the summer it’s more likely you will be swatting at mosquitos or other bugs, while pulling at your collar and feeling sweat drip down your back. A fall funeral might have everyone standing/sitting a tad too close to each other in order to fit under the single canopy set up to shield the grave from the rain and wind. Sometimes you are sitting at an angle, trying to keep all four feet of the metal folding chair on the ground because the fake grass underneath you was laid right over top of a fresh mound of dirt.

Cemeteries are rarely far away from the busy world around them, and there always seems to be some noise in the background that doesn’t fit with the solemn occasion—a group of motorcycles on the roadway, construction across the street, a passing vehicle with a sound system that pushes the bass right into the ground beneath you. All of this, and you are usually standing/sitting on someone else’s grave. Unless your family/friend/loved one has a private plot with a lot of room, there are bodies every few feet, and there is no way to fit everyone around the casket otherwise.

I enjoy the peace and beauty of a cemetery, but I do not want to be buried in one myself. I don’t need creepy people like me eating lunch next to my headstone.