It takes a talented person to design greeting cards—that's why you've never seen my line in stores.
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After the recent death of a coworker, I was tasked with buying cards for the family. It caused so much anxiety. Each "sympathy" card I picked up was depressing or schmaltzy. They all said crap about how your loved one is in a better place, or please accept our condolences, or our deepest sympathies. Ugh. I tried to think of how I would feel getting cards like that- it would just make me more sad. I finally settled on some not-too-bad cards, but I think it's time I started my own line of It Sucks That Someone You Loved Died cards. Here are a few to start out with:
Front of card: Death Sucks Inside of card: I'd love to throat-punch him for you.
Front of card: I know this is a very sad time for you. Inside of card: Here's a kitten.
Front of card: My Condoleezza's for your grape loss. Inside of card: Don't ever write a sympathy card after a root canal.
Front of card: (Completely blank) Inside of card: There are no words.