I think I'm dying.

Variations include: I might be dying, I'm pretty sure I'm dying, I'm definitely dying, and I am dying.

Common Usage: When I haven't gotten enough sleep, when I get sick, when I'm really hungry, after walking up three flights of stairs, after 4 hours of continuous work, when I stub my toe, when someone asks me to do something I don't want to do.

This is a phrase I use quite often. Essentially, it has become my Crying Wolf phrase. No one takes it seriously anymore—not sure they ever did. I know I'm not actually dying, but in the moment it can feel like it. Take this week, for example.

Yesterday, I reached down to let the emergency brake off in my car. I forgot I was wearing my seat belt, which makes it harder to reach the emergency brake that sits ridiculously low on the left side. I felt a tightness in my left shoulder and the rest of the day it hurt when I drove and when I picked up a mug or put my bag on my shoulder.  I said, "I think I'm dying" to myself several times throughout the day.

Then this morning I put socks on. I rarely wear socks. I buy shoes that don't require socks, because I hate them. Today I decided I needed socks. I have no idea why, but it was a bad decision. I bent down to put on my socks and my chest started to hurt—the kind of hurt you imagine could be a heart attack, but has happened before so you know you just strained the muscle in your chest wall. So now it hurts to breathe too deep, pick up anything, and basically move anything above my waist (make that above my knees). I'm not sure how long the pain and discomfort will last, but you can bet I will be saying, "I think I'm dying" the entire time.

Why is it the older we get the ways we injure ourselves seem more ridiculous? I'd love to say I was playing indoor soccer last night with my friends and I took a ball wrong doing a chest trap. Instead I have to say I hurt myself putting socks on my feet. How depressing. I think I'm dying.

 

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