For the past year and a half we have been without cable, satellite or antenna television service. We have rented movies, watched the movies we already owned and followed some of our favorite programs on our computers. Not having the distraction TV affords has enabled me to get a lot of work done. For the past three months or so Jon has been dropping what he thinks are subtle hints about getting satellite service again. When the winter break hit I caved and a friend of ours came to do the installation. Jon and the kids were gone this day and I had the house to myself. I did not turn the TV on once, just used the time to clean the kitchen and get some bills paid. I think I was preparing myself.

I am not proud, but I have in the past two weeks, spent several hours watching TV when I should have been doing something, anything. My house is pretty clean, I don't have any work that is being neglected, yet I feel terrible guilt at the amount of time I have spent watching shows I wouldn't bother with if I had only my Internet connection to watch them through.

Jon stayed up late the other day and came across a show he swore I had to see. He taped two episodes for me and I have just finished watching them back-to-back, taking breaks only when it got too graphic. Yes, graphic. Not in the sexual innuendo and blood and gore kind of way. In the 'I can't believe someone can live in that filth' kind of way.

The show is called Hoarders. People, with obvious psychological problems, get help cleaning their home in order to keep their children, keep their animals and sustain their health. While the show is extremely disturbing, it is like a car wreck, you just can't turn away. (Okay, I did turn away several times when I thought I might become ill.)

I have said before that watching shows like Nanny 911 make me feel like a better parent, well this show makes me feel like a fantastic housekeeper. And that is saying something. Ask anyone who knows me, especially my mom. When I was a kid, you couldn't find my bed through all the toys and clothes. I am much better today, but I still don't have my mom's clean-in-the-middle-of-the-night-because-you-can't-sleep ability.

So today I am feeling like I am one of the neatest people on the planet. Well, I do feel the need to scrub my toilet, maybe more than once. Not because it is extremely dirty, but because the ones I saw on TV today made me want to vomit and I don't ever want mine to come even close to looking like that.