We are an outdoorsy family. We like to go camping and fishing and hiking - you get the point. This is why I am continually surprised at my youngest daughter's lack of outdoorsy knowledge. Have we not been good teachers, were we neglectful, did we assume we were leading by example, or is she just in her own world half the time barely paying any attention to her parents and the world around her? Let's go with the latter.

Before I get into the real reason for this post, I must give you a bit of background- an example of Mo's first outdoorsy uneducation. Several years ago, (Mo was probably five) we went into the woods to cut down our Christmas tree.

By this age, Moira had been camping any number of times. She did not really like to get dirty though,and she was still trying to outgrow her aversion to being wet- she used to scream bloody murder (like she was covered in acid)any time even a small droplet of water got on her skin or clothing. So, we were out in the beautiful snow-covered woods when Mo said she had to pee. (Did I forget to tell you that she never wore anything but dresses? We aren't Amish, she was just super girly. Don't start judging me about letting her go out in the snow in a dress- you couldn't have gotten a pair of pants on that kid if you tried. I was going for peace in the house.)

I grabbed a roll of toilet paper from the car (a necessity to any car emergency kit) and I walked her behind a large tree. I told her to go the bathroom behind the tree and to make sure her skirt was out of the way so it didn't get wet. She emerged, seemingly dry, and we started to walk down the path where our tree was.

"Sploosh, sploosh." This sound was coming from her boots. Turns out, she had not worn panties on our excursion and when she went behind the tree there had been no squatting. She had merely stood there and peed, letting it all run into her boots. Mo spent the ride home wrapped in our emergency blanket, confused by all the fuss. Obviously, we had not stressed outdoor toilet rules to her during our past outdoorsy experiences.

Now to the story of the week.

Mo spent Memorial Day weekend with her friend's family. They went up the river in Hell's Canyon and stayed at their cabin to fish. While out fishing one day, Moira left the boat and went into the woods to go the bathroom- number two, as she relayed it to me. After she finished, she saw that one of the dogs had followed her, and wouldn't you know, that dog made a beeline to where she HAD NOT dug a hole and buried her number two. He proceeded to roll his entire body in it before returning to the family with his tail wagging.

Moira learned a valuable lesson- if you don't follow proper outdoor toilet procedures, you will have to give the dog a very unpleasant bath. And I learned that I may have to make Moira an illustrated, laminated card to hang around her neck that shows proper toilet procedures (in case this incident was not enough).

I know, it's a gross post, but it was so blog worthy.

2 Comments