Chloe totally deserved first place, not the third she got. And she definitely should have beat second-place Maddie. Really, don't those judges have any idea what is going on backstage with the moms and Abby Lee? Don't they even watch the show?

This is what the conversation in my head sounds like as I watch Dance Moms. I'm not proud of having an inner voice that sometimes sounds like a teenage girl. In fact, I am fully disgusted with myself, but it is what it is.

Have you ever watched Dance Moms? It's this fascinating "reality" TV show about the Abby Lee Dance Company, the competition team dancers and their mothers (I like to refer to them as monsters).

First off, Abby Lee has to be one of the most unlikeable people on television. I love to hate her. She screams at her dancers (age 7 to 13), throws chairs, tells them they aren't good enough, threatens to cut their feet off, berates their mothers in front of them and pushes her dog around in a doggie stroller. What more is there to hate?

The girls are great dancers. The youngest, Mackenzie, is so cute I want to pinch her cheeks. They are all pretty innocent (although they don't look it when they are wearing costumes even a hooker wouldn't be caught on the street in). They are incredible-- learning a dance for competition in three days and winning 8 out of 10 times. They are really the victims in this whole scenario.

The moms are volatile. They have put up with Abby treating them and their daughters poorly so long, but they can't seem to break the tie. It's like they are drug addicts. They threaten to leave - often walking out - but come crawling back every time. I haven't figured out if it is because they like to win, or Abby's is the only dance studio in a few hundred miles. These women spend the time during rehearsals and lessons in a viewing box talking crap about Abby and one another while they sew costumes. The pressure builds and builds until finally one of them cracks. That's when the magic happens.

It's sick, I know. I have them on my DVR if you want to come over.