Apparently, my birthday makes me weepy. All night last night and this morning I have been on the verge of a meltdown. I thought I was above all that. I had vowed to be upbeat and happy about my birthday this year, but I have failed. I have come up with several lies to tell people when they encounter me and my leaky eyes (in no particular order):

  • ·        I have allergies (technically this is true- they just happen to be nut allergies)
  • ·        There is something in my eye (classic)
  • ·        I put my makeup on in the car and the eyeliner poked me in the eye
  • ·        These are tears of joy
  • ·        Someone is wearing way too much cologne today
  • ·        I just chopped an onion (I don’t usually do this at work, but there’s a first time for everything)
  • ·        My eyes are so dry I have to keep using eye drops
  • ·        I just watched that video where that one dog saves that one kid’s life
  • ·        The jokes on the back of Laughy Taffys always bring me to tears (not in a good way)
  • ·        It’s my birthday, I can cry if I want to (I’m sure this will be said with exasperation and anger, maybe even a sarcastic singing voice, leading everyone to avoid me for the remainder of the day- which means I won’t have to use any more excuses. )

Anybody who thinks I’m being a baby can suck it! One year closer to 40 is not as easy as it looks you snotty 20-somethings!!!!